I wanted to share something that a friend of mine gave me to read some time ago. As I read it, it brought tears to my eyes because I understand it and felt it at times. When reading this I felt that GOD wanted to reassure me that he is in control even when I don't have the answers and solutions when I have so many unanswered questions. But my God is awesome and he has given me an angel (Adrian) to show me a little more of what's like to have to depend on him. So here it is.
I AM THE CHILD
I am the child who cannot talk.
You often pity me, I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of -- I see that as well.
I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire,
or if you are just doing your duty by me.
I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater,
for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.
You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times.
I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs,
or comments about the world about me.
I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards -- great strides in
development that you can credit yourself;
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable -- I give you instead opportunities.
Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine;
the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities;
the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder,
seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.
I am the child who cannot talk.
I found much comfort in reading this because I have found much of it being true in my life. See if I really start to put this all in perspective I know, this is what God wanted in my life to move forward. Now I am not saying that I am happy that my son can not talk and has difficulty expressing himself, what I am simply saying is that he has made me a better person. It has shown me that I have had to come out of my comfort zone and realize that it has never been about me. God has taken me thru situations that I would never imagined, we have gone over many hurdles in the last 4 years of our son’s life that we would have never even imagined. I have had to look deep down inside to see who I am, I’ve had to stand when all I wanted to do was disappear. Regardless of Adrian’s condition, diagnosis, and or label he has an amazing ability to love, and figure things that we could have never imagine. He has taught us that we have to leave our comfort zone and move forward. I am sure that life would have been different if Adrian could do everything the poem says, but I would have missed out on the challenging road we are currently on, GOD has a purpose in life and it is up to us, if we will choose to run with it or if we will just stay complacent and wonder why me? At the end, we will always love our son who cannot talk.
My name is Gail, I have been married for almost 10 years with my best friend. God blessed me with a supportive, loving man after God's own heart and a fantastic father. We have three beautiful children, Adrian who is 5 years old and a set of twins who just turned 1 years old. God has blessed us in so many ways that it is beyond words. To even describe how thankful we are for his love and grace is beyond words. One of our favorite verses that we have is Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of GOD and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you".